Heart just don't know when to quit

When can these heartbreaks stop, i just want to love you. I should have known not to tell you the truth. The feelings thats inside of me. The wronged that i've done to me by loving someone like you. I hate myself for all this pain that i endure. My heart just don't know when to quit. I just lay low and pretend that all this does not happened. I'll just suffer in silence for loving you......

My lament

As the pain in my heart grows, the sadness that i've been filled with and the sorrow that surrounds me when i see you with someone else. My entire soul become lost in depths of despair as i try to find the pieces of the disturbing nightmare. As i keep silent through these feelings, i can't bear to lose you again. Even if it takes a lifetime, i'll wait for you till you are by my side. I'll wait for you. I'll love you in my heart, forever.............

Help me please!!!

This heart feels like crushing, each time i know you are with someone. How am i to tell you how i've been feeling inside? If you think i like what's happening right now, well i don't. I don't like this feeling, the feeling of being in love with someone. Because love can make one go mad. I don't deny the fact that love does bring happiness. But when you are in love with someone, whom that doesn't know you like her, how are you going to have the courage to tell her the truth? I'm suffering inside, in silence. Sometimes i just want to let it all out, but i can't. I can't because the old person that i was would have already blown out the situation into proportions. I've told myself not to be the person i was. That person was an emotional monster. Now, i just keep silence. Bottling up everything that is being thrown to me. And i hate to love. Actually i don't want to love. But funny how the heart works in a mysterious way. You started to have feelings that you never expected. How am i going to stop all this from happening? Why must i suffer because of this? Do i deserve this pain that i'm goin thru? I just don't know.
It makes me wonder.............

I don't know what it is.....

My mind's and my heart are entangled, with something that lives deep inside. A feeling so deep, that sometimes it made us worry too much. It creeps up on you when you least expected it. No other feelings can make someone do something stupid, made someone become mad or make a fool of himself. The thing i'm refering to is ' Love '. It does wonders to every single human being. And sometimes i brings disasters too. It makes one become mad. It also gives one happiness. That is love. I read a newspaper article lately, well actually its a Straits Times Life!Mailbag. Someone sent a letter and it caught my eye. He qouted that we always are captivated by the wrong person or are completely blind to the one who cares most about us. He also said that first love just comes at the wrong time or we lose it because we don't treasure it. I think that is true. We often don't treasure the ones that we love.

Well.... i think i'm becoming sort of an emotional freak now. Ever since i've told someone abt my feelings, well maybe not the whole part of it, that i suddenly realised that i'm becoming a worrywart. I worry about what will happen. I just don't know why but i come to realise it that probably because i'm beginning to fall in love with her. That's why i think love makes us do crazy things, sometimes to a point that it may lead to us doing something mad, or foolish.

I think some might agree with me on this. Well i don't expect everyone to agree to it though. Because what i'm writing is based on my own experiences and my own point of view.

Till then......

Isolate

I'm trying to isolate the feelings inside me from my body. So as to let my soul rest. The mind is clouded by fear. Fear becomes suffering as i try to be around. The once was what i am is now faded into the shadows of sorrows, accompany by the feelings of hatred towards the thing called love. Love brings fear to everyone, that which leads to suffering. My life have been through uncertainties, by my own spontaneous actions. Every now and then when i feel things were looking up, i will feel as if there was someone who slapped me in the face. And on and on it goes back to square one. Each is a cycle which i can't get out of. Let time be my judge. I can't hardly hold on any longer..............

Holding to the feelings

As i thought she might be the one, there's always someone to destroy the faith. As i gathered my courage, fate somehow has other things in mind. I don't ever want to lose her again the second time. I am feeling jealousy inside me. Why jealousy befriend me at this kind of hour? All i want is happiness to be with me. Not sourness of the pain. Shall i just hold to these feelings? Or just let it out? The sorrow is accompanying me on this journey, with jealousy in tow. Is this just my test? Or just fated for me? To be alone for a lifetime? I believe in hope, but hope has let me down before. Who shall i believe? Now paranoia succumbs me. I'm suffocating from it. How shall i ever live normally for now, because once again all these. Why am i having these feelings? Is it a test for me? Heart pains to know that someone is out there to ruin my happiness. Why must it happen to me everytime i savour some light from all the darkness that i've been through? Why does this run in a pattern? All the whys that i've asked myself can't be answered and neither can be explained. Have to live through this all over again.

Hmmm......

It's been awhile since i last entered any entry. Been busy with commitments. Well there are some things that happened to me. Firstly i confessed to someone i like her. Well i've known her quite awhile, afew years back to be exact. We lost contact but then got in touch through friendster. The rest i rather leave it to imagination hahhahhaaa.........

Secondly, i'm disappoined with someone. Someone very close to me. He's changed soo much that i don't know him anymore. Here's an advice for those troubled minds out there. Let it out those that are close to you. Bottling up will kill your relationship with others. That's what happened to him. A friend i used to know. Now i hardly knew him. He's changed not to be better, but to be worse. God forgive him!

Well that's all i have for my entry. Au revoir!