Help me please!!!

This heart feels like crushing, each time i know you are with someone. How am i to tell you how i've been feeling inside? If you think i like what's happening right now, well i don't. I don't like this feeling, the feeling of being in love with someone. Because love can make one go mad. I don't deny the fact that love does bring happiness. But when you are in love with someone, whom that doesn't know you like her, how are you going to have the courage to tell her the truth? I'm suffering inside, in silence. Sometimes i just want to let it all out, but i can't. I can't because the old person that i was would have already blown out the situation into proportions. I've told myself not to be the person i was. That person was an emotional monster. Now, i just keep silence. Bottling up everything that is being thrown to me. And i hate to love. Actually i don't want to love. But funny how the heart works in a mysterious way. You started to have feelings that you never expected. How am i going to stop all this from happening? Why must i suffer because of this? Do i deserve this pain that i'm goin thru? I just don't know.
It makes me wonder.............