When will this thing will end?

She's freaking me out. I'm trying my best to avoid her. She texted me yesterday morning saying that i'm trying to challenge her and her family to sue me. I'm like what the hell she wants from me???? Had she done enough of creating stress for me by posing scantily clad on myspace and by her actions towards me and towards her friends. There seems to be double standards. She have time to meet her friends yet when i wanted to meet her, she give lots of excuses citing reasons from she don't have money, she's busy blah blah blah etc. I sacrifice my life savings for her. With the money i gave her in total, i could get myself a new tv set, an ipod nano, and even help to pay the house loans. I fell into her trap of deceit. I was turned to jelly when she calls me "sayang", "baby", etc. I was sweet-talked by her words of "I love you, i don't care how you looked like etc blah blah"...... I made a mistake. I was naive, foolish and dumb to fall for all this shit. And now when she's ill, she blamed it on me. And wanted to claim medication fees from me.
I don't earn much. And she wanted me to pay for all her medication? She's saying i'm trying to run away from my responsibilities of what i have done to her. To begin with the relationship was already complicated. I never had a date with her. I never touched her AT ALL!!!! The only crime i feel that i did was getting insecure and pestering her for answers about her workplace, full name, home address, all the necessary informations. And that lead her to get agitated and went through a bout of serious depression. To begin with depression can be cured if the person suffering from it wants to help themselves. But i guess she doesn't want to do that..........

Friends i'm sorry i never heed your advice......I know now that i have friends who really care for me when i'm in need, who stick by me.................I'm sorry i've let you all down......

Peace

She's freaking me out.....

We broke off. Yes! She wanted to sue me.
Yes!
Her uncle wanted to sue me because of a comment i made about her aunt wanting to get a tattoo.
Yes!
I'm so freaking stressed of the problems she is giving me.
Yes!
I've never listened to the people who are advising me.
Yes!
I've let down my family.
Yes!
She really loves me.
I don't think so.

If she really loves me why the hell must she like tell her aunt what i have said in a fit of anger and causes more shits that are already happening? Isn't it obvious she just blaming me for all the depression? To begin with she had a depression before. She already have her own stress with her debts. The only thing i did was asking for her full name, school that she work at and her home address. I even borrowed her my mum's another handphone. And then now she says she wants to stay friends. Then i never texted her she said i'm silent. I'm fucking losing my sanity because of all this shit. I'm stressed and having migraines. I don't know when will this end......
I need help to stop all this......I'm freaking lost. I really need serious help!!!

I don't know what else to do.....

I'm running out of ideas, thoughts etc. All i'm feeling now is how to end my life... She wanted to sue me or shall i say her uncle wanted to sue me for saying things about her aunt and her intentions to get a tattoo. I was angry at that point of time. And furthurmore i don't know what she wants. A lil bit of misunderstanding can blow up till it involves family members. What the fuck???? Rather than you sue me, might as well put the money to good use by clearing your fucking debts. I'm to blame for your depression? Your depression was caused by your own stress. I don't know where your doctor got the idea i caused your depression. I have friends who had depression before. I just don't know what you want. I think you are doing this because you can't get back to your ex-fiancee who used your i.c for his own purpose, choking up debts using your name and then fuck with your "best friend" and then left you. You know what? i do still care about you! If you want me to stop caring i can do that. You know what i just can't be bothered anymore. I fucking stressed. And i think the one who is going through a depression is me! I can just fucking punched your uncle, your brother, your father or whoever stands in my way. I DON'T FUCKING CARE!!!!! I RATHER GO TO JAIL BECAUSE I PUNCHED THEM THAN GO TO JAIL BECAUSE OF SOME STUPID COMMENTS I MADE ABOUT YOUR AUNT!!!!! WHY DON'T SETTLE IT MANO E MANO??? FUCKING SCARED THAT YOU SHIT IN YOUR PANTS?????? HEY I RATHER YOUR BROTHER PUNCHED ME BITCH!!!!!!!!!!

FUCKING HELL.........YOU FUCKING RICH PEOPLE HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO BUT SUE WE COMMONFOLKS. HEARTLESS SHITS....... INSTEAD OF SUING ME WHY DON'T YOU PUT YOUR MONEY TO GOOD USE INSTEAD? LIKE DONATE IT TO SOME NEEDY FOUNDATION OR BETTER STILL HELP YOUR STUPID NIECE WHO'S HAVING DEBTS TO CLEAR...... SHITHEADS................YOU WASTE MONEY ON FREAKING LAWYERS WHO CHARGE YOU A BOMB FOR THEIR FREAKING SERVICES. MONEY EQUALS POWER TO YOU RICH BASTARDS!!!! HEARTLESS FREAKS...... I'LL GET A PPO AGAINST YOU ALL. YOU THINK YOU ARE ABOVE THE FUCKING LAW??? PUHLEAASSEE....CAN'T A SIMPLE SORRY WORK FOR YOU GUYS??? FUCKING SHITHEADS RICH BASTARDS!!!!!! YOU MAKE TOO MUCH MONEY AND DON'T KNOW WHERE ELSE TO SPEND ON.............SO THE ONLY ENTERTAINMENT FOR YOU GUYS ARE JUST GOLF AND SUING PEOPLE??

Haiz......... why is this shit happening to me? Regretted knowing you. I should have not helped you the first time. I should have not known you at all. You gave me misery and yet i'm to blame for my insecurities towards you?? Just my fucking luck............... I rather die.... I RATHER DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't know who can help me now..... not even my friends. If the the suing really happens and i have a letter given to me by their representative i think i want to end my life. Friends you can't help me anymore. This shit is getting worse. Death is better. I rather be in hell for my sins in this life than suffer in this life for some shits that are so petty...... I don't earn much..... I'm so useless. I neglect my responsibility towards my family just because i want to help her. And in return she wants to sue me. Haiz.... life is so meaningless now for me. Crying never helps, taking painkillers never help, talking to friends never help, trying to talk things out never help, scarring myself never help. All i get is this shit about people who wants to sue me.
I don't know where else to turn to now.............IT HURTS REALLY BAD INSIDE!!!!!!!

I don't feel like living anymore.....

I just want to die. I just want to end all the misery, the sufferings and all the heartaches i'm facing right now. When i die i won't have to face these feelings and i won't be having negative thoughts about her. Wherever i go, trouble always comes along for a ride. I can't be left for peace, not even for a split-second. I just don't know why these things happen to me. I just don't know why...........................................SO FUCK UP!!


Rest In Peace......