Tactless and rashful act .....

I hate myself. I hate myself for being me, for being who i am. I hate the fact that i am born to this world.

I've told her about my feelings without being rational, i just shoot out my feelings straight to her with me saying we should just be strangers instead of friends 'coz i can't take the fact if we ever went out that i might feel the awkwardness. Why i am so stupid?!!! Why can't i just be normal for a bit?

What should i do? I know i have committed some great "sin" to even said that. It seems like i'm forcing her to like me which she can't......... I should have just be compose about the situation, but i didn't........

All this is just another life lesson for me......I know i can't force it.... Fuck i'm just a sore person, all i have is just myself....
Maybe i'm just being heartless... Or maybe i think using my heart more than my head....

Dammit i'm just a stupid, sore, dumb, asshole, fool, nuts jerk!!!!!