Disheartened

Yes i had a dream and it wasn't nice. It's somehow involves her. And was totally disheartened by that dream. Then just now i was surfing Friendster. Somehow i just went to her profile. And to my surprise i found out who the "ROBOT" she's talking about. I feel disheartened further. Then came down to the testimonials. More heart pain. I just don't feel like describing it. Somehow i feel like i wanna shout out loud and wished that all the pain will just leave me. Or maybe just cry to myself. Am i doing the right thing? Am i just a fool to be trapped by the honeyed-tongue girl? Is she trying to play with my feelings? Oh God why are you testing me this way? It's painful and heart-breaking. I'm actually sucking it up, trying to hold the pieces of my life in place. Am i doomed to be in this state for the rest of my life? Or am i just assuming the worse? Oh how i wished that i would not have taken the risk. Why must i fall in love now?

*crying, heart felt heavy by these unbeareable thoughts. how i wished this journey will be much sweeter than bitter*