Thoughts that's going on my mind....

My mum and my younger sis just got into a big disagreement which ended up both slamming doors. My sis getting married at the end of the year and she's complaining so much about the huge amount of bills and money needed to spend. so my mum just suggested to her just nikah instead to have a wedding reception. Then she suddenly flared up. I know what my mum said is true. For a Muslim, when you have nikah it means you are lawfully wed. The reception is just part of the wedding although it is not really that important. What i am trying to bring up here is the why nowadays Malay/Muslim families sometimes want to have huge wedding receptions when they don't have that much resources and also why some Malay/Muslim families always wants or expects to receive such a high dowry from the groom's side? It is as if you are selling your children. I just can't figure it out. Money have made us blind. We forget our culture, our morals etc. There's no wondering i believe money is the root to all evil. The guy who invented this phrase surely deserve an award for it.

I'm currently on a financial crisis, i have not yet fulfill my role as the eldest son to the family although i did gave money to be used to pay the utilities, yet i have not given my parents money. I feel bad but i can't help it right now. But somehow i know the future will be brighter and i'm perservering to achieve that aim. I think now since i've started working, i'm grown a lil bit matured in my thinking. I scrimp and save although i still don't know how long my money in the bank will last. Can't think much of it but i just want to survive the day that's all. I hope in a few months time all the things will be settle and i can live life much, much better. As of now, i never told my parents about the problems i'm facing right now. I hope the government pay-out will ease a bit of the burden i have to face.

As of my personal relationship with friends and loved ones, its ok for the time being. I'm as per normal with my parents. Friends, i wish i can see them often but i can't. Even meeting them i'm having problems. But to those whom i'm close to and who are reading this, you all are in my heart no matter where you are. I'm sorry if i have not been in contact much. But you all are always in my heart. And to that special someone that touches me, I'm missing her everyday. The calls that you made, made me feel happy and it brightens up my life. I know in my heart you will always be there too. I hope you will be there for me for better or for worse and in future we will be together, have a family of our own.

Signing off...............