Pondering thought....

As i ponder to myself about my past relationships, there was only 1 relationship which i really put my heart, soul, blood, sweat and tears into it. And as i ponder further, i come to realise i don't want to be the person i was. I was possessive and i was tactless. I want to change all that. I used to have a bad-tempered but now i've learnt to be patient. I also have a quite sarcastic views towards my surroundings. Sometimes i even was too sarcastic to people whom i love. I want to change that. I'm having feelings for that special someone now and i don't want anything to happen between us. Because i love having conversations with her. Everyday she will like called me on my mobile and share with me how her days have been. I didn't initiated it. It was her. I did said some things that have hurt her feelings before because i failed to understand her situation. I regretted it so much. I was remorseful to be exact. I know she also have the same feelings for me. I never doubt that. I think i need to be less paranoid and be more optimistic about this. All i know she suffered more heartaches than me, much much worse than i have gotten before. I wish this will last to the end of my life. I will try and perservere and be more tactful in my words and my action. I don't want to hurt her. I don't want to hurt myself.

I guess as of now i just be there for her no matter what happens. I rather see myself suffer than see her suffer. I don't know why but i've becoming a selfless person and couldn't care less about myself but just of others. Is it bad? I don't know. Only God knows............

*i'm contented with her. She brought smile to my face*