A reminiscence of my past.......
Well... something happened while i was surfing the net just now. Was surfing anakmelayu.com just browsing through the profiles and seeing the pictures because i have nothing better to do. By the way i have an account but i never did subscribe to the services because i feel it is a waste of time. Then i don't know why suddenly i feel like looking up my ex-girlfriend on it. It type her full name but there wasn't any hit. Then i tried the name that her family called her. "Nani" that's the name. The name that brought me happiness but also brought me sorrows. When i entered that name, i got a hit. As i browse through the list i came across a sort of familiar face. I doubled click on it and guess what? IT IS HER! OMG..... i was like damn. You the girl that i loved soo much, the one that i adore, the one that i hoped for a future with. She have an account in anakmelayu.com. Oh well i've already moved on.
She was the only ex-girlfriend that i really loved soo much. The one that i sacrificed a lot of time for. I even skipped school just to meet her everyday. Those were the times. She brought me happiness but she also brought me sorrow. I gave her everything that she wanted, but i ended up gaining nothing. She broke up with me while i was on attachment at another camp, a month before my birthday, 6 months before my ORD date. That was in 2002. It took me nearly 2 yrs to forget her. It was hard. She was the only person i adore. She said the same things about me but i was blinded by my love and never see through her real intentions. While were together, she was two-timing me. I suspected it and confronted her but she kept on denying it. Sigh those were the times. Such bittersweet memories.
Now after that incident and a few short term relationship i finally erased her from my mind. Friends, relatives keep asking me, "Do you have a girlfriend" I looked at them and smiled and answered, "No i don't" Yes i'm not getting any younger but then i'm afraid to have another relationship. I'm afraid of the underlying consequences. I'm afraid of history repeating itself. And i also feel that i'm still not stable enough to have a relationship. But then sometimes things just happen for without a warning signal.
I fell in love with someone i least expected to. Someone which i never even took a second look before when she passed by me. Someone that i don't even think of falling in love with. But then i do not know why just can't tell her the truth face to face. I've only told her through MSN messenger chat. Why can't i just tell her? But last monday, i was talking to my friends at the bus-stop, then suddenly i was like letting out the tension by saying "I want so&so" Never did i realise that she was there sitting at the bus-stop. I guess she might have heard it. Oh well...... i've actually wanted to ask her out, just out as friends because i ain't expecting anything. But the courage to do so i have not. Why? I don't know. Other girls i'm not attracted to i can easily talked to them but when i like a particular someone it is just hard for me to talked to that person without feeling clammy. Well a friend told me do not wait too long for it to happen because if you wait too long she might be taken by someone else. I know it is true but how, tell me how can i gather enough courage to approach her and ask her out? Oh please someone tell me what should i do. I just need some help. I need something or someone who can boost my self-confidence. Please help me.......
She was the only ex-girlfriend that i really loved soo much. The one that i sacrificed a lot of time for. I even skipped school just to meet her everyday. Those were the times. She brought me happiness but she also brought me sorrow. I gave her everything that she wanted, but i ended up gaining nothing. She broke up with me while i was on attachment at another camp, a month before my birthday, 6 months before my ORD date. That was in 2002. It took me nearly 2 yrs to forget her. It was hard. She was the only person i adore. She said the same things about me but i was blinded by my love and never see through her real intentions. While were together, she was two-timing me. I suspected it and confronted her but she kept on denying it. Sigh those were the times. Such bittersweet memories.
Now after that incident and a few short term relationship i finally erased her from my mind. Friends, relatives keep asking me, "Do you have a girlfriend" I looked at them and smiled and answered, "No i don't" Yes i'm not getting any younger but then i'm afraid to have another relationship. I'm afraid of the underlying consequences. I'm afraid of history repeating itself. And i also feel that i'm still not stable enough to have a relationship. But then sometimes things just happen for without a warning signal.
I fell in love with someone i least expected to. Someone which i never even took a second look before when she passed by me. Someone that i don't even think of falling in love with. But then i do not know why just can't tell her the truth face to face. I've only told her through MSN messenger chat. Why can't i just tell her? But last monday, i was talking to my friends at the bus-stop, then suddenly i was like letting out the tension by saying "I want so&so" Never did i realise that she was there sitting at the bus-stop. I guess she might have heard it. Oh well...... i've actually wanted to ask her out, just out as friends because i ain't expecting anything. But the courage to do so i have not. Why? I don't know. Other girls i'm not attracted to i can easily talked to them but when i like a particular someone it is just hard for me to talked to that person without feeling clammy. Well a friend told me do not wait too long for it to happen because if you wait too long she might be taken by someone else. I know it is true but how, tell me how can i gather enough courage to approach her and ask her out? Oh please someone tell me what should i do. I just need some help. I need something or someone who can boost my self-confidence. Please help me.......
posted by PennyForThoughts at 2:36:00 am
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home